Rainbow bLAWg

Before you tie the knot, there are a few questions you may want to ask your partner. Couples fall in love, decide to share a life and make plans about their future. But what about their financial future? Do they even know what questions to ask their partner?

Perhaps we can help by giving a few pointers about some basics.

First, let’s talk about spending habits. What are your backgrounds? Do you and your partner come from a completely different socio-economic status? What do you consider to be ‘cheap’ or ‘expensive’? Some people can live on $1,000 a month, while others can spend that on one dinner.

Second. Using credit. Some people are happy saving for their rainy day, while others are happy to borrow for everything. If you’re in a lot of debt, do you really want to drag someone who is free of debt into your abyss? If you are free of debt, do you really want to risk the resentment that could build from the extra burden of having to deal with someone else’s past? Of course, if that debt occurred because of a sound investment, like appreciating real estate or student loans that resulted in a job with a substantial income, you probably don’t need to worry. But if all a person has to show is a house full of furniture, an expensive car, and ticket stubs from vacations and lottery tickets, maybe you don’t want to break up, but do you really want to make it legal?

Third. Disclosure. Get a copy of your credit rating. Get out your tax returns and your bank statements and share them with each other. It’s hard to talk about these things when you’re in the ‘honeymoon’ phase of your relationship, because you think these things will never matter. Your love will prevail.

Fourth. Write it Down. Speaking of being in love, this is the time to do it. Drawing up a pre-nupt or living together agreement that spells out what you own separately and together, coming into a relationship, not only protects you, but protects your partner from relatives or creditors who may lay claim on certain things you own. This document that states your intent with your initials next to each item, signed by you, and possibly notarized, can put an end to any argument or real or potential lawsuit in the future. It also could lay out a plan for the unlikely chance that you break up or divorce. Because this relationship is the one that will last forever, right?

You also may want to consider other legal protections, like a will or trust, and living wills and powers of attorney. Most married people have these legal protections in place, even though they automatically get certain powers and rights just because they’re legally married. For gays and lesbians, you might be married where you’re standing right now, but may not be if you drive across a state line. Or maybe you’re legally married in California, but not in the state where you live. So, these documents don’t’ just enhance the protections you have, they may be the ONLY protections your state recognizes. So, don’t wait.

All in all, sometimes it’s good for couples to come into a relationship with opposite personalities, backgrounds, and spending habits, but only if they are committed to working together and compromising. Especially if you plan to have children, two different personalities can bring balance to your life and family and make your family and commitment stronger and productive. It all depends on how much you’re willing to give, accept and share.

So, good luck to you and we wish you a happy life.

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You can give Rainbow Law’s legal document preparation service a risk-free try by ordering state-specific advance directives (living wills, medical & financial powers of attorney with hospital visitation & more). Payment can be made via a small donation or you can get them for free in exchange for a Tweet or Facebook post!

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Carrie Stone