Rainbow bLAWg

Like it or not, there is no better time than right now to take stock of your life and do what’s necessary to take care of your loved ones.

Here are ten things you ought to do a.s.a.p.:

ONE:

Try to think of something positive at least once a day every day. The economy sucks; it’s harder to get ahead at work and retirement funds have dwindled; and we worry about global climate change. But meantime time keeps passing and we aren’t getting any younger. Sometimes you just have to stop and remind yourself to appreciate something or someone in your life. Try to live each day as if it was your last, because one of these days, it will be.

TWO:

Make a list of goals and experiences you’d like to complete in your lifetime. The truth is that no matter how old (or young) you are, you just never know when you’re going to die. So to keep a list of things to do before your fateful end. Why not make this your “bucket list” and start enjoying it today not at some point down the road.

THREE:

Sign legal documents to protect yourself and your loved ones. In most states unmarried partners don’t have the authority to make health care decisions or manage money for each other. Estate planning should start earlier than you might imagine. If you have a young adult child who gets injured or becomes ill you might need a judge’s order before you have a right to act on your child’s behalf.

FOUR:

Provide for loved ones. Contrary to popular misconception, you don’t have to own a big house to have an estate. Your estate consists of everything you own when you die, including your home, personal property, investments, bank accounts, retirement plans and any interests in a family business or partnership.If you die without a will or living trust (“intestate,” in legalese), state law will determine how most of your belongings are distributed, and the result may not be what you would want. These laws establish a ranking of inheritors. Some newer laws say everything will go first to the spouse, then to children, parents and siblings – none to your partner.

FIVE:

Review beneficiary forms. Retirement accounts are distributed according to beneficiary designation forms filed with the bank or financial institution (the custodian) holding your account. With an IRA, you can readily name any beneficiaries you want, including friends, family members, a trust or charity. For a 401(k) or other workplace plan, you must get your spouse’s written permission to leave it to anyone else. To change a beneficiary–for example, if you recently got divorced or your spouse died–file an amended form. Make sure to name both primary and alternate beneficiaries. Do not name your estate as beneficiary; that could cause your heirs to lose important income tax benefits. (See “Inherited IRA Rules: What You Need To Know.”)

SIX:

Make sure you make arrangements to care for your pets. Line up someone who will be willing to care for them as you would do if you were alive. If you can, provide funds to pay for veterinarian visits, grooming and food for 5 to 8 years.

SEVEN:

Make a list of your tangible personal property and name the people you want to give each item to upon your death. This will make it less likely your loved ones will fight over your stuff.

EIGHT:

Try to spend a quiet moment of reflection for at least 10 minutes a day. If you believe in a higher power, pray. Otherwise just sit quietly and focus on your breathing.

NINE:

Keep a journal or diary of your daily activities, your dreams, your longings, memories and so on. Having your written thoughts and contemplations will make a wonderful memento.

TEN:

Tell friends and family that you love them. Some people don’t say this at all. Others don’t say it often enough. Don’t leave any room for doubt. For those left behind, there is no greater comfort.

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Unless your relationship is legally recognized, you and your partner are strangers to one another in the eyes of the law. Period. You may think the love and responsibilities you share with your partner are exactly the same as your heterosexual family and friends, but unfortunately, that isn’t the case — the law sees it another way.

So what does legally recognized mean? A marriage sanctioned by the law bestows concrete legal and tax benefits upon married couples. The moment a heterosexual couple – and LGBT couples living in marriage equality states – say “I do” they are eligible for more than 1,100 state and federal benefits, rights, protections, and responsibilities that are denied to same- sex couples whose relationships are not recognized in their home states.

Now that parts of the Federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) have been ruled unconstitutional by the US Supreme Court, married same-sex couples who are able to access state benefits are now eligible to receive valuable federal rights and protections.

Unfortunately for married and unmarried same-sex couples, some corporate institutions, religious organizations, and even relatives, friends, and neighbors don’t always see committed gay and lesbian partners and their kids as a real nuclear family.

So what can LGBT life partners whose marriages don’t count (or those couples who just don’t want to get married) do to protect each other from the harsh realities of legal, institutional, and familial discrimination in the event of legal separation, mental or physical incapacity, or death? For now, non-married couples must create their own legal rights and protections using wills, advance directives, contracts, and more.

In a strange way, committed gay and lesbian couples are lucky in at least this way: Because the law often doesn’t recognize same-sex relationships, the need for planning should be more obvious to them. But everyone — married or not! — should have an estate plan.

For the most part, couples who can afford these documents will get them. Many LGBT couples are struggling financially because of the economic downturn. For them, Rainbow Law’s state-specific will and trust packages provide an affordable alternative – and their free advance directives are available to any LGBT person who asks.

If you or anyone you know needs legal documents to empower and protect an LGBT relationship, you really ought to give Rainbow Law a try.

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Carrie Stone