Marriage Is Not A Right For All

Marriage Is Not A Right For All

While we celebrate legal victories in state after state, watch as the media flips out when a politician or celebrity utters a homophobic slur, and even witness a couple get married on float in an internationally televised parade, LGBT persons in other parts of the world aren’t quite so fortunate. For instance, in Uganda, parliament recently passed a law that calls for a life prison sentence for certain acts of what it calls, “aggravated homosexuality.” Even close friends and family of LGBT people have abandoned them for fear of their lives, and fear of the law affecting their lives too.

In Nigeria, there’s a witch hunt going on right now – with dozens of arrests following President Jonathan Goodluck’s signing of a law that criminalizes gay unions, organizations, and meetings. The law forbids people from running gay clubs, societies, processions or meetings. The punishment for such acts is 10 years in prison. It also reportedly makes it an offense to administer, witness or help at a same-sex marriage ceremony. If a couple is caught getting married, they could go to jail for 14 years, and ‘acts’ of homosexuality are punishable by death. Shockingly, homosexuality remains illegal in nearly 80 countries and punishable by death, not only in Nigeria, but also in Mauritania, Sudan, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Yemen, and parts of Nigeria and Somalia.

Even India’s Supreme Court recently overturned a ruling striking down a ban on sodomy as unconstitutional.

International Gay Rights Activists Think We’re Focusing Too Much On Marriage. We are more fortunate in the US, but while we celebrate scattered victories, our struggle is not over. LGBT people in the United States are still being bullied and worse. Violence is not uncommon, across the country, and we are not safe even in the West Village in New York City, where a man was shot dead last summer because of his sexual orientation. Although marriage rights are important, there are still parts of the LGBT community, in the U.S. and internationally, where our very survival is still a concern.

What can we do? To start, we can take care of the people who are important to us. Our partners, our children, our families. Where our relationships are not legally recognized, we can create a legal situation that mimics a real marriage with legal documents, such as Trusts, Wills, Living Wills and Powers of Attorney that protect and empower our partner. These are important even if we are married. After all, straight couples still create them to protect their spouses. Many legally married couples set up Trusts. Some are simple, with the sole purpose to avoid the legal costs and scrutiny of probate.

Many members of our community who marry and stay married are more likely to be white, educated and wealthier. The benefits of marriage are bestowed on those members of the LBGT community who already have many privileges.

Laurie Essig, a leading voice on LGBT social issues and professor in women’s and gender studies at Middlebury College. told Al Jazeera in an interview that the discussion about benefits through marriage appears to have stymied a larger, individual-based discussion on socioeconomic justice. She says, “what would be good for most people — regardless of marital status — is a more equitable distribution of wealth in this country, access to health care, education, and livable-wage jobs.” She continues, “Marriage is, once these things are achieved, a personal choice. But until everyone has access to these things, marriage is a sign of privileging for a minority of LGBT Americans.”

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