YOU AND YOUR PARTNER ARE LEGAL STRANGERS

Same-sex couples cannot legally marry in any state in the United States. Laws that protect the rights of heterosexual couples do not exist for us. Without legal protections, medical and legal institutions can and do deny us the right to inherit each other’s property and the right to make medical and financial decisions for each other.

One piece of paper - a marriage license - gives heterosexual couples the legal status of "family" with all the rights and benefits that follow.

As Lesbians and Gay men, we need to sign many pieces of paper Estate Planning documents and Advance Directives -- to get even token protections for our relationships.

Some of the legal documents that will give us "marriage-like" protections are:

1. Living Revocable Trust -- A Living Revocable Trust is a contract that lets you "give" your estate (all the stuff you own) to yourself as Trustee of your Trust. Obviously you don't really give anything to yourself. That is why a Trust is called a "legal fiction." You retain total control of your assets just as you did before you had a Trust. The beauty of a Trust is that it lets you nominate your partner to be the beneficiary of your estate and your Successor Trustee to take over for you when you become disabled or die.

2. Last Will and Testament - Like a Trust, a Last Will and Testament also allows you to name your partner as your beneficiary and your executor. In your Last Will and Testament you may also nominate a guardian for your minor children and make your wishes known as to how you want your body to be disposed.

3. Advance Directives - Advance Directives, such as a Living Will and Powers of Attorney allow you to say what medical treatment you do or do not want if you become incapacitated and there is no hope of recovery. They also give you the right to appoint your partner to make medical and financial decisions for you if you are unable to make your own decisions.

If you die with only a Last Will and Testament, your estate may go into "probate" where a judge will determine whether your Will is valid. This process gives disgruntled family members an opportunity to challenge your partner’s right to inherit and manage your estate. When you die without a Will, the laws of your state (which currently name biological relatives or legal spouses) will determine who will inherit your estate.

If you do not have Advance Directives, your biological family has the automatic legal right to make medical decisions for you and they may even prevent your partner from visiting you in the hospital.

Even if you take the time to put your wishes in a valid legal document, there is no guarantee it will not be challenged. You should always anticipate potential challenges and include specific language that clearly indicates your intentions to benefit and empower your partner. Don't leave room for someone to second-guess your wishes.